CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
