garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
