she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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