dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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