We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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