He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
