I must be too annoying 4 u.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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