I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
