The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
