So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
