Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
