Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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