Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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