I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
