We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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