it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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