oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
