when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
