their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
