Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
the day after is always just damage control
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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