Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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