No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
