Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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