community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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