just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
