Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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