dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
