A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
