Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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