just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
