omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
