But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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