If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
