it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
