you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
