If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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