I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
