I have demons in me.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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