I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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