It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
