Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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