Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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