Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
