Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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