where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
