She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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