I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just invented taco cereal.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
