He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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