i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
