somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
