i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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